When you feel that life isn't fair......

One might think, life isn't fair. Why do some people escape troubles and others not. That is a mystery, and just part of living on this earth. The Bible says that the rain falls on the just and the unjust. In other words, it just happens. When I wrote in my blog how God has delivered me from many of my troubles, someone could say, what about me. I had troubles but I wasn't delivered from them. All I can say are two things, we each have our own story, and God loves us no matter what our story is, and also, even though I feel I have been delivered from many hard things in my life, I could also say, why did I have to go through so much in my life, while others never have to go through hardly anything. I choose to not question God. I've done that in my past, and only found out that God is worthy of our trust. I don't like going around the bend to find that out every time..
You can question God all you want, He can take it. You just don't always get the answers you would like. To simply trust Him, if you can, is better. He will get you through whatever you are facing.
Looking over my life, and seeing God in my life, through out it, even before I was a Christian, I am thankful and see His love for me. Doubting other's love for me has been my besetting sin, even God's love for me. For reasons I won't mention now, I didn't feel like a loved person growing up. To this day I am tempted to doubt other's love, and truth is, everyone certainly doesn't love us, everyone doesn't even like us, not all the time. That's okay. But, that's not true with God, He loves us all the time. He loves all of us differently, because we're all different.
God is love, so He can be nothing other then love. However, do we make it easier to please God when we love and obey Him. As humans it is true of us, when a child is loving and has a tender heart it is easier to want to please the child back. When a child is unkind and mean and rebellious, it is harder to want to please. I don't know that we can compare God to humans, but the Psalms are full of verses that say 'He hears the prayers of the righteous', (Jesus righteousness in us), and that when we pray to Him and call out to Him, He hears us.
That's all I have to say this morning, it's very early and I'm feeling quite sleepy. This is the day that the Lord has made, and I will rejoice in it!! (...and sorry for rambling...)

Poetry by Amy Charmichael

'Mountain Breezes', a poetry book I loved, especially when I was going through cancer treatments, 10 yrs ago. Amy Charmichael was an amazing woman, rescued children from pedophiles, yes they had them in the late 1800's, but then Amy became bedridden, for yrs. and wrote many books, etc.

'I WILL REFRESH YOU', (Matthew 11:28).

Heart that is weary because of the way,
Facing the wind and sting of the spray,
Come unto Me, and I will refresh you....

Heart that has tasted of travail and toil,
Burdened for souls whom the foe would despoil,
Come unto Me, and I will refresh you.

Heart that is frozen--a handful of snow,
Heart that is faded--a sky without glow,
Come unto Me, and I will refresh you.

Heart that is weary, O come unto Me.
Fear not, whatever the trouble may be;
Come unto Me, and I will refresh you.

'WE SHALL KNOW', also by Amy Charmichael

He will renew us in His love always.
Ours is a weary, clogging flesh,
But we shall know.
Patience of comfort, peace and fortitude,
Shall drink where fresh waters flow,
Taste angels' food;
For, loving, Thou dost love until the end.
O great and dear Redeemer, we have proved
What Love Divine can spend
On its beloved.

God has given me life, over and over again, for now.....

"A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him/her from them all". Psalm 34:19. (We're made righteous through Jesus, we have none of our own).
This is what I feel like my life has been, full of many troubles, but somehow, I have come through all of them, each and every time, by God's grace and mercy.

Even as a young person, looking back, I see God's hand on my life. A few examples are:
As a teenager, going through pretty severe depression, by keeping a diary, I came out of the depression, no medication, no counseling, etc. That strength came from God, I believe.

Then, in my latter part of my teens, I drove a car like a maniac. I look back very often, to this day, and shudder at the thought of my thoughtlessness. One time driving down a gravel road, with a car load of girls, I tried to get to 100 mpr. I am so very thankful, very, very thankful, that I didn't kill anyone. There were a few other driving incidents that I'm sure there were angels watching over me. Weaving in and out of lanes, almost hitting cars, drag racing in town, and driving drunk. How did I ever get out of those situations without major problems, I have no idea.

When living in Minneapolis, away from Grand Forks, I was almost over the edge with Paranoia, getting even a streak of white hair from fear. I would rather have been killed then gotten raped. (I had previously already almost been date raped). Then, all of a sudden, I snapped out of it, for no reason. I believe that God was with me, where else does inner strength come from?!

God has delivered me from many fears, and depressions. When I moved to Chicago, when working at American Airlines, I then became a born again Christian. Before, I experienced extreme loneliness. Becoming a Christian in 1971, was the happiest time of my life. Once I was in a forest, praising God, when a man, naked and full of anger, came up to me. A soft voice in my head said, 'Get up', and I did. I got away, but was full of fear. The next day, in church, I literally felt the hand of God remove the fear out of my body, and the flash backs stopped. It happened when the preacher said the verse, "Love covers a multitude of sin".

After I was a Christian for a couple of years, I got married. In the first year, my ex wanted a divorce, but decided Christians don't divorce. The Jesus People group that I was in, split up. I went through a year of depression. Again, no meds, no counseling, but the album, 'Growing Pains' by Jaimie Owens, now Collins, pulled me out of the depression, every day a song lifted me up.

After being married for 7 yrs., it was decided that I could have a child. I got pregnant immediately, with twin boys. I was hemorrhaging, the boys were 3 months early. I didn't realize that that was one of my very possible calls to death. (Today the boys are 30 yrs. old, and happily married to beautiful, Christian women ).

After 12 yrs of marriage, my ex finally divorced me. It was devastating. I came back to my roots, Jesus People, and to my original 'calling', along with the boys, to Chicago. Two years later, I married Jon Trott, who also went through a devastating divorce, and he had 2 little girls that I helped raise. Getting into a new relationship was very hard, but now, over twenty years later, God has done tons of healing through this very loving, godly husband.

After being married to Jon, a few years later, I almost drowned in a river, but it wasn't my time yet.

In the year of 2000, I had Thyroid Cancer and Breast Cancer. I went though lots and lots of chemo, radiation treatments, etc. etc. I am now 10 years cancer free. Thank You God!

How we found the Thyroid Cancer was because of a breathing problem I had. My breathing became worse and worse, partly due to tubulation during my Thyroidectomy. This year my breathing got where the trachea was about the size of a coffee stirrer. The doctors said it doesn't get any worse. So, on April 14th of this year, I had reconstructive surgery, a quite major procedure. The first week or two were intense, to say the least. I am recuperating now, and doing very well. On the 11th of May I will get a smaller trach, and then either this month, or on June 7th, (my surgeon is out of town, probably teaching other surgeons this new surgery. Has only been around for 10 years). The trach will be out completely, and I will be able to extend my life, for as long as I can have. I would like to live to 90 yrs. My health otherwise is quite good.

My dear God is very merciful and loving. I do hope for God to be glorified in my life. He is worthy of all of our trust. We asked many, many people to pray. I believe that it is God's will for believers to uphold one another in prayer, and I pray that I can become a better prayer warrior then ever.

"The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing". Zephaniah 3:17b. A verse that all of us should take to heart, God loves us, He really does. It is one that I am still trying to sink into my heart. He showed us His great love for us first when Jesus came to die a horrible death, that many could be saved, any who would say yes. I sure couldn't have lived my life without God delivering me from my many troubles, and giving me the grace to walk through what I have come through. Choose the Lord today, He is amazing and loves you so!!!!

One day I will die, of course, and even though the transition from life to death to life is scary and foreign, I do look forward to being with my Maker, in a paradise that this world doesn't know yet.